Of eclipses and reaction

This morning the world has just witnessed the longest solar eclipse of this century. It was best viewed from a small village in India called Taregna in the eastern state of Bihar, where it was visible for a full earth shaking 3:50 mins.

Funnily enough the word Taregna in Hindi means counting stars, how appropriate a place to see the sky go dark i say!!  It seems so thinks the rest of the world as 20,000 astro tourists had arrived in Taregna and its neighboring Patna to view this spectacle. Obviously as the Indians cannot let any opportunity go by, their tour operators even ran special flights with earth and sun facing sides of seats going at different and exorbitant rates up to 69000 Indian Rs.

Upon reading all this and being chided by my nani to stay indoors early morning as its not very cool thing to see. My grandma believes like many people in south east asia that eclipses are evil. I was sitting around wondering what the Pakistani response would be to this eclipse as concerning our various media show hosts and opinion makers. This is what came to my sleep addled mind.

Shahid Masood : Ham ne jab jab dekha hay ke aasman ki gahrayon se aik shaula sa ubharta hay aur phir tareeki cha jati hay tu aisa lagta hay ke aaney wale din phir sae andehray ki sada lain ge aur is ke liye ham ab ex chief of the Isi ke pas chalte hain, han sahab kia khayal hay aap ke is eclipse ke bare me aur hame bataye ke kia is se koi waqia runama ho ga?

Kamran Khan : Aaj India me aaaa aik sooraj aaaa ke aagay aaaa chand ke aane se aaaa eclipse ho gaya hay aaaa aur duniya isse dekh rahi hay aaaaa magar yahan pe tu aaaa Karachi me aaaa waisey hi eclipse ho gaya hay aaa kyunke aaaa 4 din se bijli aise ghayab hay aaaa jaise aaa aasman se sooraj eclipse me aaa.

Faisal Qureishi : Sochna ye hay ke ye eclipse hamare sath kyun nahi hua, kya ham itne bakhabar  hain ke agar eclipse hota tu ham us se faida utha sakte, aur sab ye kyun kehte hain ke eclipse hi sab se important cheez hay, sahab important tu ham aur aap hain aur hame apne liye kuch karna hoga warna eclipse tu kia kuch bi hojaye kuch faraq nahi parta.

Zaid Hamid: Obviously ye eclipse aik Jewish, Indian, American nexus ki conspiracy hay since ye siraf India me hi runama hua aur aap note karen ke is se sab se ziada faida kis ko hua? aap ye bhi note kijye ke jo bache ki tasveer bbc pe aye hay jis ne special glasses pehne huay hain us ke glasses ke side par aik pyramid aur us ke upar all seeing eye bani hui hay jo ho na ho zaroor wohi new world order aur global nizam lane walon ka symbol hay.

Dr Aamer Liaqut: Aj subah kuch taranum sa tha hawaon me, jab subah ki aurh se aik sada ayi aye mere bande ankh mor le ke me tujhe apni jaho jalal ka aik chota sa jalwa dikhlata hun tu me ne apni sarhana se aik takya uthaya aur mu pe rakh liya kyun ke buzurg farmate hain apni meethi meethi awazon me ke solar eclipse ke doran soraj ko dekhne se ankhon ka khamiaza kam hojata hay aur insan is soch me reh jata hay ke aye mere rab tu ne ye kia banaya hay aur ham is me kya kar rahe hain. Bursts into song “dekho chand aayaaaa, dekho chaaand ayaaaaa”

If you are by now assuming that I am the script writer for these personnas, “no” I can hardly qualify as such and if I was, I would’nt have enough time from counting money to write blogs, but do consider what you are watching when you are watching.

The objective of this post is not to malign, defame or do anything other than poke a little fun at our media darlings, the writer does not question the veracity of their views or their integrity but instead wants to know the inner workings of the minds that watch them and make them what they are. All this basically means is that this is a work of fiction so please don’t get pissed..

Full & saner version of this story

  1. @ KK(my most long term reader) Raheel and Talha thanks guys

    @ FQ thanks man..great to hear from you here & your support!!:D

    is suddenly very nervous….aamer bhai ne parh lia tu jahanum ho jai gi

  2. Hey Faisal, this is so hilarious! Well done! Anyone with a sense of humour will appreciate it rather than get upset by it. Look at FQ’s response.:)

  3. LOL! FK endorsed as official script writer for FQ. Ab Deadpan gaya kaam say….. Guess we’ll have to go to faisalqureshi.net instead to read you now…. :p

    Good to see your sleep addled mind works better than my fully active one! Keep up the good work! πŸ™‚

  4. @ Jehan Ara thanks πŸ˜€ but FQ is different man… what if aamer liaqut hussain reads this.. ill be axed from the eid dua.. :p

    @Aly Fq prolly doesn’t even need scriptwriters go check out his own blog man!!

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