Devils at your Door

A week back I was sitting in the waiting area of a popular pediatrician’s clinic with my 3 year old niece. This clinic is located in a very popular hospital in the Clifton vicinity and is always crowded. I was waiting and trying to entertain my niece who was very upset at being taken to the doctors. A little girl of around 5 years old comes to me and smiles at me. I couldn’t help noticing what a cute little angel she was. She extended her hand to me which I shook and then she very clearly said “Aunty mujhe uncle ne mara”. I assumed she was talking about the people who had accompanied her there and I asked her who had hit her to which she pointed to her genital area and said “mujhe uncle ne idhar mara”. I looked around for her guardians and I saw a man coming towards us, he came and took her away. I saw him walk towards a woman standing in the corner who was crying silently It made me wonder what had happened and why the girl had said what she had.
A little while later my niece went over to where the girl was standing and I walked over to the couple to get her. I smiled at the woman and told her what an adorable daughter she had which only made her cry more. I couldn’t help asking what happened to which she told me something that sent shivers down my spine. This little girl was molested by their driver. He had taken her to the servant room and had tried to force himself on her in the absence of her parents. She didn’t provide any further details and I was left there standing speechless.
I am pretty sure that incidents like these happen every day in our so called elite society but they are never brought to light, are not considered very important to talk about and most commonly are buried to avoid embarrassment and questions. What people don’t realize is that by bringing these incidents to light we are actually trying to put a stop on them happening in the future. Many of us read and hear about these incidents in print media, blogs, word of mouth and just shake our heads with a tut tut and “oh how sad”. The question we should be asking ourselves is what we are doing to prevent such incidents from happening.
The worst part is that we as a society are a contributor to these hideous crimes. We have becomes so “Status Conscious” that leaving children with servants has actually become a status symbol. How many times have we seen children outside shopping malls with drivers and servants waiting in the car, or how many times do we see children being left at home with servants so that their moms and dads can go out and socialize. I have seen pregnant women worrying about finding the right “chota” to look after their new born child. Why do we even consider having children when we cannot take care of them ourselves.
I have no sympathy for parents who cry and repent once such an incident occurs. Were they blind before that they could not see what is going on right under their noses? Why did they even bother giving birth to children when they could not take care of them? I remember seeing a young mother shopping in Sunday Bazaar with her servant carrying her daughter behind her. Every 5 mins the male servant would kiss the girl on her lips. God knows what sick pleasure that man must be deriving from this act of his but the mother was completely oblivious to this and was busy with her shopping.
Abusing a child sexually can result in both short term and long term damage. It can lead to poor self esteem, psychological disorders, behavior issues and worst of all turning them into child abusers themselves. I keep thinking about the little girl in the hospital, will she ever be able to forget the uncle who had hit her? Would she ever be able to feel confident about herself or her surroundings? Many a times the abusers blackmail children into silence and continue with acts of abuse by threats of telling their parents or by locking them in a room or by taking away their favourite toys. Children being the innocent things they are continue to silently get tortured and abused and the blind parents never know.
I am hundred percent sure that after reading my article people will only shake their heads and say this is so sad and then forget about it the next minute. We need to act and we need to act now. We should stop being dependant on servants and letting our children being given in their hands and leaving them to satisfy their sick minds. I shudder to think what that driver must have had in his mind when he was trying to satisfy his sick desires on an innocent little girl.
We need to stop focusing on our so called “Status quo” and start building a better future for our children. Having a child is not simply making sure they are fed, dressed and sent to school, It means we are completely responsible for their proper upbringing to turn them into confident and responsible adults.
Today this is just a girl you are reading about in my article. Tomorrow it can be one of your own children. Act now before its too late.

  1. i completely agree with you here..and i hope this will help give parents soom food for though.MAY Allah protect all our children from the evils that prevails

  2. (Today this is just a girl you are reading about in my article. Tomorrow it can be one of your own children. Act now before its too late)
    very true actually we all are responsible for this situation. if we start doing focusing on our own responsibilities and stop thinking that our life objective is to only earn money then we are able to focus on our childrens activities.
    At the day of judgement allah ask us about how did we upbring our children not about how much money we earn in our whole life.

  3. This is indeed sickening, but I also agree that parents should never leave their children to the care of others, who are only there for money and God knows what other benefits or otherwise. It is the utmost duty of parents themselves to take care of their children, and no one else.

  4. i can only say what i read in a column written by Javaid Chaudhri (translation) “if i cant take care of my children than i should not use my name just to fill the box and stop calling my self a human”

  5. Hard to believe but these are tough realities of our society. But I’m glad you have raised your voice against it. It’ll surely help in creating awareness. Nice effort Sadiya!

  6. Sadiya this is a truly touching post and I completely agree with you on never leaving the children alone to drivers, househelp etc. I often tell everyone that if it were not for the fact that I live with my very supportive parents inlaw, I wouldnt be in a fulltime job. I do not allow my children to be driven alone with the drivers, let alone leave them at home. Its not just child molestation that is an obvious but often neglected risk, but in the current times, in case of a security related incident or God forbid a terrorist activity, how do you expect a person who is paid 8K or less a month to look after our child in an emergency? A definite food for thought for all of us, and esp those who rely entirely on the ‘help’.

  7. i absolutely agree with the writer and to fix it out we need to fix the root causes. we need to figure it out, attitudes our wannabe attitudes are leading us to what is unbearable unreadable.

  8. This is beyond true… Most of my friends have had such incidents, always from a servant/driver or neighbour. in most cases they were too worried to tell their parents, and even when told, parents never took them to the doctor to see what happened. Its easy to ignore or forget than to deal with it. This is one of my biggest fears as a mother. I keep no help in the house for precisely this reason, but who knows what tomorrow will bring and who knows where the sinners hide. May Allah protect us and our children…

    broke my heart..

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