15th March, Long march, 15th March, Long march that is all I have had the pleasure of hearing on any sound waves anywhere in this urban jungle we call kolachi. Our media, our radio channels our political debates, our drawing rooms our bedrooms they are all marching to the same zany unstoppable mayhem that is being promised to the length and breadth of this land on the day that it will all end on. The day of the long march.
Before I get all bleary eyed from the other barrage pumping into my ears at full blast from the nearby green and mean mosque announcing the arrival of our prophets birthday day and night let me give you a view of what is to come in my opinion.
15th march is going to be a day of reckoning for sure in Islamabad as supporters of PTI, Jamaat E islami, and PML N’s sher squadern descend on the capital with all guns blazing (but in a peaceful manner off course) to get rid of all this “Na ehli” plaguing us by restoring our messiah the Chief Justice that is to be. However we in our verbal diarrhea and ratings game oft forget to mention that the messiah of all is the same man who ratified a generals coup, gave him power to introduce changes in our “democratic” constitution and didn’t say mum for 8 years as he thrashed, hacked and threw around his weight on anyone or anything that dared trespass his law of might is right. Even though the good general turned out to be a blessing in disguise and we enjoyed 7 years of relative peace and dare i say it *sob* prosperity but the fact remains that our short term Pakistani memory wants justice at the hands of whom justice was never served.
Oh sure he took a few suo motto motions in the end but where was his divine stand when we most needed it? When he was supposed to say no sir you cannot hijack a country, even if its leader is nuts, you cannot overthrowÂ democracy at the tip of your baton no sir!! Not to mention the fact that this same man who we consider as our judicial savior and restorer of divine law has had 80% of all our lawyers out on the streets for the last 2 years rather than deciding fighting and defending cases in court which is their bloody job in the first place. Which if they would do instead of forming a party of black coats on their own would get a lot of cases processed and ultimately justice provided for the denizens of this hell hole.
Ahh yes this long march will be a reckoning for sure as the protestors tell us they will be a million strong and they will at the end of it all have a sit in in Islamabad to end all sit ins. where they shall sit till our President stands and says oh for gods sake ok i shall restore Iftikhar. This is the grand plan, how simple and how bloody foolish. This is the best 3 political parties with decades (ok sans PTI) of experience have come up with, and this is what they proclaim will save us all in the end, what will turn the tide around and what will lead us back to the right track, which is the track they did not recognize in the first place as the General on that track was wrong too and so it goes on.
I have a few words to say to the three leaders engaged in this idiotic, naive march of madness which will halt all economic activity in our largest province, cause untold misery for the inhabitants of Islamabad and god forbid utter mayhem if violence breaks out. To Nawaz and Shehbaz i would like to say “bathroom” you better have thousands of mobile ones and if not the same number of adult diapers if you do not want the shit to flow literally as you sit amongst thousands.
To Imran I would like to say “Grow up” for the love of god, nearly every educated and even the long haired uneducated variety would be behind your charisma if you would talk any sense politically and not try to engage on missions of self annihilation.
To Qazi Hussain Ahmed I would like to say “Choose” he who rolls from one alliance to the next, one opposition to the next, the expert of dharnas and marches, the omnipotent of all posers, choose one path and stick to it if you ever want to lead the long bearded ones out of obscurantism and into poltical light.
Last but not the least i would like to suggest the word “sanity” to our government for they have lost nearly all that they possessed on Feb 18th and are as organized as my 10 month old sons toy bucket.
Hmmmm the light on my monitor just flickered, perhaps KESC is about to make its impact felt or the messaih has indeed arrived, so before I get fried or shut down, get some buttered popcorn and be ready to witness the comedy of all comedies and thank god you are watching it on the telly on 15th March because when policies are decided on the streets, things never come to a good end.