We are all addicted to these little updates and with the advent of the new face book layout we are even more hooked into what everyone is doing every second of their lives. Heck now we can even comment on each others updates and there are so many times I want to add the following, but hey I like my 200 superpokes of the week you know 🙂
1) Song Lyrics
Yeh i know, you heard the latest maroon 5 song and listed it in your update but to the rest of us imagining you know how they felt when they sang that song is a bit of a reach…really
2) Mission Statements
Today is the first day of the rest of your life or some other random bullshit, yeh great except that the focus of your life seems to change every three days with a new status update, read I shall drink no more followed three days later by X is pasted and posting is not humorous
3) The make them all burn update
We are all prone to doing this from time to time, guess what everyone wants people to be jealous of who they are with or who they are going to be with or who they got flowers from but in Pakistan we carry this to the next level. For example “i am in Dubai” is digestible, “X is dining at the Burj overlooking the palm while considering his next real estate purchase because he has shit loads of money” ain’t!
4) Inappropriate information
I get it, the narcissist in us wants us to exhibit every teeny tiny detail of our private lives but there are still some rules to decency people. You do not sit in a public place and start shouting “he cheated on me” “she is a whore” and sundry other private details like the emotional status of your soul we could do without.
5) The bait
One of my friends does this often, post updates like “I cannot believe what just happened” what they do not realize though is that after the first friggin 20 times every time you post that the world laughs at your attention disorder freak!
6) I am at work
Well guess what so is the rest of the world, and they know you are as well and they do not need to be reminded of it again, status updates do not have to list your physical position, why do you not just broadcast your gps coordinates to all of us.
7) Political statements
I am perhaps more than often guilty of this update, however I readily acknowledge how stupid it looks when i am cussing out zardari because guess what, he does not care neither do the rest of the people who are reading it if they did they would join the opposition not sit on face book.
8) Perverted updates
X loves the feel of a motorcycle between her thighs, Y is enjoying a sensual massage in Thailand. Well if you are in the middle of a sensual massage and the only thing you can think of doing is to update the rest of us about it? Dood get a life!! This is obviously another offshoot of the I am so kool syndrome.
Some people are just so deep, yeh riiight!! They post philosophical quandaries of their inner beings in the update box and they cannot even explain to me what the above sentence means.
10) Mass thank yous
listen when someone wishes you happy birthday even on your wall on face book you reply back to them, if you are too lazy to do it next birthday we will make a generic event for you as your birthday and just add our goddamn names to it ok!