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The victim mindset

Posted on March 19, 2012 // Leave a Comment

 

Mohammad Amir the fast bowling sensation from Pakistan who didn’t exactly live up to the hopes his nation had pinned on him, due to his role in the spot fixing debacle in England said ” he was tricked into spot fixing” This was Amirs  first interview after returning from serving a six month jail term in England for conspiracy to accept corrupt payments and conspiracy to cheat at gambling.

He went on further to say that he was tricked by his captain and mazhar majeed, who told him he had been taped by the ICC in his two return calls to someone named Ali. So Mazhar and Butt sat him down in a car and Mazhar asked him to do him a favor and bowl two no balls the next day at precise times, and Amir did it.

Correct me If i am wrong but is this even believable? They told him he had been taped and possibly would be accused of cheating, so their solution was for him to spot fix and he went with that? Doubtless he is from a lower middle class background, doubtless he was under pressure but instead of going to his coach, or another senior or team management Amir chose to cheat and did so willingly and we are supposed to believe he was duped? Err how? Why do we always shift blame and then expect everything to be A ok! Oh no we don’t have an inadequate police force, the crimes cuz its the blooming spicy chutney we eat syndrome!

I’m sorry but I do not buy the whole senior mentor pressure thing so easily either. First of all Amir was on top of the game and knew it, possibly even thought he was untouchable. He was certainly no babe in the woods who didn’t know if money was involved in this transaction! He also admits that he was later visited by mazhar and given GBP 15,500. What on earth did he think that money was for? Reward for being an obedient cog in the wheel that butt turned? Come on!!

This is a player who made a mistake yes, a player who was at the start of his career yes, but NOT a player who had no clue of what was going on. We as a nation pile a lot of trash on Asif, making him out to be some kind of evil kingpin but the fact remains that Amir bowled “two no balls” while Asif bowled “one” so who is the bigger culprit?

I am not even going to go into the hurt he caused our nation, how we the fans of Pakistan cricket hung their head in shame for months or vowed never to watch cricket again. I am not even going to highlight the fact that so many youngsters who were inspired by Amir must have had their dreams shattered.

I am however going to emphasize that people like Amir should not be forgiven. Yes you may say that many in Pakistan cheat daily, earn money through crooked means so why crucify Amir. Well as far as I am concerned they should all be crucified. A crook is a crook whether he stole five rupees or five million, the principal is the same and he should be dealt with in the same manner as well. In fact Amir has already gotten a lenient punishment due to his age and other factors, and we didn’t exactly punish him according to our own law so what does he want now?

I am not saying Amir should be banned from cricket forever but at least he should not be let off on the what’s done is done excuse. He cheated, plain and simple and a sportsman who does that loses to me the right to wear his team’s colors again. If it is harsh let it serve as a lesson for all those playing and coming up in Pakistan cricket.

Let is be known that if Pakistan cricket fans can turn zeros into hero’s in the space of one match, they also have the ability to recognize a zero and a big fat stinking one at that! Amir you chose to bowl those balls and now you have to live with it, this fan will not let you off!!

 

Filed Under: Cricket // Tagged: , , , ,

Date with destiny

Posted on March 28, 2011 //

Just two days left now, 48 hours and then it will begin, the mother of all matches the India vs Pakistan encounter in the semi finals of the world cup.  Mohali, India is the venue and the match has been awaited with bated breath on both sides of the border, ticket prices are quadrupled by demand and they say the private berths for personal aircraft are full in this city as the who’s who descend on it.

 

Amongst the stress of anticipation there are now voices being heard that this match is too over hyped the pretense of war on the field too exaggerated and the over all effect as garish as those long exaggerated footsteps the two opposing armies take at the wagah border. These aman ki ashas want the best team to win, fair play and a general acceptance of defeat by fans of either team should it so happen.

 

However, they seem to have forgotten that the rivalry between India and Pakistan on the cricket field is not one built on hate. It is perhaps the greatest sporting rivalry of all time as it involves two nations cleft from one in 47 with identical passion culture and love for the game pitted against one another. Yes we have fought wars against each other but cricket has never been the seed of discontentment. In fact throughout our violent history together cricket has often been used as a diplomatic tool to bring angry leaders of our two nations to the diplomatic table.

 

It should also be kept in mind that this match is not going to happen again anytime soon. due to the security threats faced by both teams when playing one another, as pointed out by the 1000 commandos being posted in mohali, this is a once in a many moons occurrence. Add to that the fact that Team Pakistan which has been the perpetual under dog since this tournament started has resoundingly defeated all the names to make it to mohali against a Team India which have been sound favorites from day one of the tournament and we have a match setting that is quite potent.

 

On paper India is the stronger team, as it has the most formidable batting line up in the world and they are very good at playing spin, which has been Pakistan most potent weapon on its march to the semi-final. One day cricket and statistics though are very uneasy companions as on that given day whoever clicks as a team will matter not recent achievements and history. What will also matter is the desire to win which both have and the added bonus of millions praying for victory on both sides.

 

So come Wednesday when you see the roads empty and voices of thousands of radios & tvs humming and beating in tune to hearts here in Pakistan. As you hear wails of misery when our wickets fall and cry’s of victory when we close in on a win do not fret as no actual carnage is going to come about as a result of this encounter Just remember that this is the sport which has reunited our country after so many days and months of depression, this is the team which has made us belief again and this belief has to go onto the final.

 

The Indian captain put it quite aptly at the eve of their historic quarter final win against Australia, he said “Our nation wants us to win the next match, it is more important to them then the cup” Right on Dhoni this is our world cup, so let us now see who will win it? I believe it will be Pakistan because even if I try I cannot form the words “India has beaten Pakistan In the semifinal” the heart does not accept what the mind says sometimes ya know? As Nazia Hassan once sang “Dil bole boom booom”

 

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A Letter to Lala

Posted on February 28, 2011 //

At this precise moment in the world cup no one is doubting the fact that the dark horse of the tournament team Pakistan has more than demonstrated their ability and prowess to win in their match against Srilanka. They have beaten one of the hosts of this world cup in front of a packed crowd of their own fans on their own turf.

Now since our captain has made it clear post-match that this is everyone’s team I feel that we as a nation need to give him a few suggestions and who knows perhaps he will hear the call of us rabid green fans.

First of all, to anyone who watched the Pak vs. Sl match it was more than abundantly clear that one person was involved in most of  the mishaps that team Pakistan went through on the field that day. From the run out from a comic strip to the missed stamping’s to the dropped catch one akmal was always in the mix and it wasn’t the guy called umar. See its quite simple, with the Sri-lankan top order removed at 96/4  in a 277 run chase they should not have gotten as close as they did to the target in the end. They could have done what England did to India yesterday (had to mention it) For that to happen our team needs to bungle less in the field and finish off opponents quicker. Yes Akthar was brilliant in bursts, yes you our captain rocked the ground with your bowling but it was not totally our effort in the end when Srilanka lost but more a combination of chance and circumstance. Thus we need to remove the chief bungler, trust me he isn’t doing nothing for us lala!!

Secondly in this match Abdul Razzak who has the ability to knock any team out of the match with his straight batted cudgel of the norse gods faced four balls at the death. Now I do understand that this was due to the fact that Misbah and Younis had to play a Miandadesque effort to repair our innings and they did that to perfection I might add, but Razzaq should have come sooner than later after one of them departed. In fact here is an idea, since Misbah has picked up a hamstring strain (yes I have chewed all my nails off at this) why don’t we rest him for the next match which is against Canada and play Razzaq in his position. Imagine what he will do to the team from urbania? Who knows if he fires he can carry over his form to the next match?

Thirdly there is this guy in our dressing room called Junaid Khan, obviously the match against big gun srilanka demanded all the old heads at the table, however Gul is not firing at all. So why don’t we give Junaid a chance with Akthar? See if the phoenix to be can pass on some tips (cricketing one’s please) to the young talent as they bowl side by side? We will need someone for the future to spear head us too, a guy wearing a marijuana leaf T shirt at an ICC tribunal hearing deciding on his career has ensured us of that.

Last but not the least Lala we call you boom boom for a reason, and if you were wondering why the crowd goes nuts when you walk out, its in expectancy of what is to happen. So can it happen please, preferably in the semi final & the Final? Pretty please?

_________________________

A version of this post has appeared on the Dawn blog on 28/2/2011

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Rise & Reclaim

Posted on February 14, 2011 //

I am not a cricket analyst and will never claim to be one but what I am, is a fan of the game itself. As a fan of the Pakistan team I have had the pleasure of witnessing our victories in some unusual circumstances. For instance the match against India in Sharjah where Javed Miandad hit a smashing six on the very last ball; I was at the beach with my family at that time, we were all glued to the radio and so was everyone else around us. When he hit that last ball out of the park, cheers were heard from all the huts, people ran out celebrating – singing and dancing along the beach. That is one cricket memory I will never forget.

I witnessed our last victory (amazingly) through social media in 2009. I was in the lobby of the Equatorial Hotel in Shanghai but the Wi-Fi connection was a little temperamental. So I ran around the lobby, laptop in hand trying to find a constant connection. I did not have access to TV or radio in China so had to rely on Cricinfo’s live feed and my own Twitter feed. Through spurts of internet connection, I realised that my Twitter feed was overwhelmed with songs, chants and cries of victory and we had succeeded in making #Pakistan trend that day. Even via social media the atmosphere was so electric that it felt like we were all together in one room from across the globe watching the T20 final.

The 1992 Pakistan team was missing an incredible bowler and a legend – our current coach Waqar Younis – but even so, they managed the impossible and brought home the cup. I do not know a single Pakistani who will not feel pride and nostalgia each time they hear the 1992 World Cup song.

No one, except Pakistan cricket fans know what it feels like to have our hearts torn and trampled upon. No one has hurt more than us in the last couple of years as we have been dragged through the muck of despair. We witnessed anything and everything that could have gone wrong. But you know what? I was watching a sports show with Moin Khan and Imran Khan as guests. where Imran stated that our current team has the worst preparation he has ever seen at the onset of a World Cup. But he also said, and there was a glint in his eye as he said this,  “If we click, who knows?”

This is the “if” we dare not speak of in case we jinx the team where our fate would be similar to that in a match against Ireland in 2007. This is the “if” that will always remain with our team. I know our unpredictability has been spoken about to death, but if we look at our team we do seem to have a good balance of the old and young. Between Shahid Afridi, Misbah-ul Haq, Younis Khan, Abdul Razzaq and Shoaib Akhtar, we have the experience of more than a 1,000 ODI’s. Like the 1992 World Cup we again lack one of our main strike bowlers in Mohammed Aamer, but we do have the new left arm pace bowler, Junaid Khan and there is always the fast medium pace of Wahab Riaz and Umar Gul. And we should definitely not dismiss the weathered prowler Akhtar; a few overs of crazy pace here and there, and who knows? Then there is the batting of Umar Akmal and the hushed prowess of Ahmed Shehzad. The only thing we lack in my opinion, is a quality specialist spinner and a good consistent wicketkeeper, both of which India have shown off to a maximum in their opening route of the Aussies.

Our captain Afridi, Lala as we fondly call him, has been the most carefree athlete I have seen in a lifetime of watching this sport. Hearing him state that the Pakistan team is the “most dangerous team” in the world makes one hope … makes one dream.

Come on team Pakistan, there is no place left to go but up!

_________________________

As published in “The Dawn Blog” on 14/2/2011

Filed Under: Cricket, Published Articles, Sports // Tagged: , , ,

Desperate times

Posted on September 24, 2010 //

Everyone knows the story by now, how could they not? Its been blasted to us from every corner of our input receivers on all forms of media and has spiraled into something resembling a circus pretty quick. A well spoken man receives a large sum of money in a hotel room in England, allegedly to spot fix no balls in the next days innings in the last test match between Pakistan & England and lo and behold the balls are delivered as promised by our bowlers Muhammad Asif & Aamir and when the story is revealed by “News of the World” All hell breaks loose.

Such is the regular chagrin of a Pakistan cricket fan for over 25 years, that we expect the worst, but when it comes we cannot seem to handle it or accept the face being shown in the mirror. However after a couple of days having passed under the “lynch em all” bridge there seems to be a very conspicuous smell coming from the direction of this case and no I do not think this was engineered by our oft blamed neighbors, even if it is somehow in their advantage according to some theorists.

It has been now established and quoted on reputable news sources like BBC Sport that a sum of money ( 4000 pounds )found in Pakistan’s cricket players rooms matches the serial nos of the bank notes given to the alleged fixer. That should clear away any doubts held by any loyalist or knee jerk defender of the Pakistan teams honor for sure. It looks like the face in the mirror is ours but whether we are now being made scape goats by the International media for a bigger problem is the question that lingers in my mind.

First of all reporting about the case in all forms of media abroad have had a small lineage of arsenic underlying the tones from day one. What followed later can only be called selective reporting as the whole team was virtually trussed up and sent to the gallows even before the crime could have been established or verified. Suspension of the three players named does seem like the right step by the ICC but has the ICC done so in the past with other players of other teams when proved guilty? I distinctly remember a Shane warne being let off with a “fine” when he “admitted” to taking money from a bookmaker to report on weather conditions was it?

Reports now tell us that these same players were under the microscope of  the Anti corruption team of the ICC for quite some time. If this was the case was anyone made aware other than the players themselves of what was going on? When Mr Butt was named captain of Pakistan what part did the alleged 5 warnings he had received from ICC’s anti corruption unit come into play for the people deciding on a leader for our team?

Please note when we speak of bias and the ICC denies it and many reputed sportswriters in England pooh pooh it, the past shows us that people have been rather quick on the trigger when it comes to our country and team.  Remember oval gate? We were all called cheats back then but the long run saw the umpire’s forced retirement not of the players involved. That everyone just seems to turn a blind eye to the root of these issues and concentrates on  hanging whoever is caught with the packet at the end cannot be all coincidence or well intentioned.

Its not about the background let me assure you, from a village or a town every Pakistan boy who gets this far knows what is right and what is wrong. We ain’t exactly the tom sawyers people are projecting us as out there. However calling for suspension from test status of our team when it has not even been considered for other test playing nations when their own super stars were caught with their hand in the cookie jar is a bit laughable.

What is not laughable however is the point that sometimes these players are motivated by a lot more than greed when it comes to “fixing” This has been proven in Waseem Akrams case in the past as well when his family was threatened. Could this have been at play when the said transaction took place?

In either case, what needs to be done now is for the ICC to scrutinize each and every individual who is coming forth with the sudden urge to tell the world how they also were approached by bookies. This cancer is still rooted deep and in my opinion a shadowy parallel world for those in the spotlight in cricket. It is very much in action for all teams playing. We will need to make sure it is bombarded and cut off for ever or else cricket will die a very sad and painful death.

That and we should stop vilifying our entire team because certain individuals in it were playing for more than the honor of representing Pakistan out there. Team Pakistan will play on and recover from this, like we have from so many setbacks in our past. Aamir or no Aamir we do not have a lack of talent in the domestic setup and should not let this violation of the fans or the public trust go unchecked.

_______________________________

As published in “The Friday times” on 24/9/2010

Filed Under: Cricket, Day To Day, Sports // Tagged: , , , , , ,

Drowning in shame

Posted on August 30, 2010 //

If you are a Pakistani there can be only two reactions you can have to the above video, the first would be the sinking feeling we all get when things surface then are swept under the carpet and then surface again. In between all this we usually tend to come up with a cockamamie conspiracy theory or two to let us off the international hook but the sinking feeling of truth remains in our gut.

The second would be that of outrage, at a point when the country is drowning literally as 3.2 million people have become IDP’s due to the flood, these representatives these so called hero’s of Pakistan have yet again forced us all to bow our heads in shame, yes I am using the pm Gillanis words and I stand with him when he says “our heads are bowed in shame”

Everyone knows the story by now, a spot fixer offers info on the last day in the last test match between England and Pakistan at Lords. The NOTW team pose as far eastern betting syndicate members and pays him off video taping the entire scene and  the next day to everyone’s shock the instances quoted in video happen right on cue and by none other than Muhammad Asif and Muhammad Aamir the M’s who were supposed to out pace the W’s in pak bowling legends. They bowl no balls at the exact time and ball count given by the fixer damning all of us Pakistani cricket fans to the pits of humilation for a long time.

People are now in the process of cooking up half baked defences! Yes we do know the NOTW is not exactly a sterling enterprise famed for its snow white reporting, in fact it has a number of law suits on it as detailed here. Yes the video above could have been recorded after hours and released to damage Pakistan, but why does NOTW need to do that when we ourselves are hell bent upon murdering our  cricket?

If anyone saw the post match interview, Salman butt looked like a pirhanna found with the said guppy tail sticking out of his mouth. He is an articulate chap, do we seriously believe he would have stammered out replies and not vehemently defended himself and his honor if there was no skeleton in his closet? Do any of us recall that match in sydney when the aussies were leading by 10 runs with two wickets and went on to make an incredible comeback? I want to believe Butt and Co are innocent I really do, but the evidence is too much to swallow, even if it is circumstantial.

The fixer claims he has been allegedly working with “our team” for 7 years and I am really sorry but there is no difference in fixing a match or fixing for a noball, let us also not also forget the two reviews salman butt did not make in this same innings on broad and co which would have led to their departure much earlier as they were OUT! The fact remains that fixing is prevalent in cricket and must be erased from all teams for the sanctity of the game and to me this incident is going to be the tip of the iceberg, I would not be surprised if more and more people were implicated.

Now what remains to be seen is what the ICC will do with our team, as a fan I would side in the favor of a complete examination and banning for lifetime of any player whatever his value (sorry aamir but fuk off)  found to be involved in this. As a Pakistani I would suggest nay I would plead that our team be suspended from ICC status so we can either wake the hell up and get our house in order or stay home.

Whatever is the cost, the truth must come out now. There is not going to be any half measure in this world capable of soothing the misery we fans are in!

Update :

Police find wads of money in our players rooms perhaps the English media smuggled those in also

Filed Under: Cricket, Sports // Tagged: , , ,

Fifa world cup, simplified

Posted on June 17, 2010 //

The Fifa World Cup is underway and like many other nations, Pakistanis are enthusiastically watching matches, cheering for their favourite teams and organising football get togethers (GTs in urban elite lingo). Although we have come some way in embracing this sport from mere viewers to actual participants, both at home via domestic tourneys (Pakistan Premiere League), local city leagues to regional international matches like the SAFF Cup (South Asian Football Federation), we still have a long way to go before we can qualify for the main event. Currently, we rank at thirty-fifth among the teams in South Asia. Even so, the spirit and passion for this sport is growing and why wouldn’t it? Football is a poor man’s game and requires not much other than a football which we are adept at producing in the millions in Sialkot.

There seems to be a dearth of understanding as to what the world cup teams and their characteristics are about in Pakistan and so, I thought it would be pertinent to introduce them in reference to our cricketing gods so we know what the commentators on TV are always screaming about.

1. Brazil
They are the Wasim Akram of the football world. This team has done it all and achieved it all. They have unmatched skill with the ball, they can dance well both, on and off the field and have fans all over the world, but they yet have to grace Indian reality shows.
They are the favourites each time they play and have a tendency to not being able to defend a lot of unexpected movement in the air, focusing only on attack.

2. England
Most similar to Shahid Afridi – they performed brilliantly in one world cup and were the champions back in 1966. Even though they have rabid fan base, acute media hype and coverage up the wazoo, they are unable to achieve much on the international stage. The team has also appeared in a number of endorsements in print and electronic media, much like Afridi.

3. North Korea
Like Shoaib Akhtar, the team is egotistical and is controlled by god knows whom. They are most secretive in holding closed practices and claim to have the ability to conjure miraculous feats while in actuality, achieving nothing. Not yet established in Bollywood but hoping to break into form at any given time for the last 10 years.

4. Spain
Closet Misbah Ul Haq behaviour – loaded with talent and skill having displayed it all throughout the league stages of any tournament but fail at the grandest stage. And yes Misbah, we still remember that paddle-scoop of disaster against India and we will make sure you do as well.

5. Argentina
Muhammad Asif personified. Oodle’s of skill, an almost mesmerising ability to entertain when on song but most of the time, trip or fall on obstacles conjured in their own minds. Drug issues, check. Ego, check. Ability to be gods or walk off a cliff, check!

6. Italy
Can be compared to Younis Khan. A history of success, great presence on the roster but very divisive to its fans, you either love Italy or hate them, there is nothing in between. Also, like Khan, the team displays the same mood swings, temper and flair both on and off the field.

7. USA
Umar Gul-like skill, but for them to be noticed on the world stage is the same – negligible. They try very hard, can cause plenty of upsets but whether they do or don’t, no one seems to give a damn.

8. Germany
Exactly like Imran Khan – strong team values, they attack as a unit, making a science out of the beautiful game, very strong mental attitude and dedication, almost clinical at times.  Their only flaw is too much confidence which has lead to their own downfall. that and the Germans suck at politics too, think hitler…merkel…err

The jury is still out on Miandad, so if anyone thinks he explains a team do let me know :p as I am still having trouble understanding him..

As published in “The Dawn Blog” 17/6/2010

Filed Under: Cricket, Football, Humor, Sports // Tagged: , , ,

A midsummers tale

Posted on March 31, 2010 //

Not to be outdone with all that Pakistan’s cricket board has managed to provide to our nation in the last month or so, thrill wise our boyz are still at it making waves wherever they go. In fact I think its safe to say that no team in the world’s history can come up with the stuff our boyz manage every other day. From ball biting to cross border romances we have it all and in spades, so when I turned on Geo the other day and was taken aback with Maliks impending marriage to Indian tennis star Sania mirza, the surprise soon turned into thoughts of how the rest of the team would react and I came up with the following fictional but could be reactions considering the current situation in our countries favorite sport.

Muhammad Yousuf : Assalam walikum, all i want to say is that I have given my back, my clean shave and my love life for this team, I was a christian and I took up Islam, Alhamdulillah and all I have gotten back is insults. Shaoib Malik never liked me, he always tried to undermine my efforts. I shall soon reveal the truth about him and Bhabis sania’s haraam relations, I will never attend this wedding as I am announcing my retirement from all social functions very soon.

Inzimam : First of all Thanks to Almighty Allah for this great victory…..long pause…. None of this would have been possible without the boyz help and good efforts. I myself wanted to play a part in this engagement but that fitna dajjal umpire stopped me. Thanks to Allah though that he is now gone but so am I. (wild hand movements) I just miss Bob at this occasion if bob was here he would have done for sania bhabi what all the boyz have done for her before shoaib bhai is doing nikah with her. In the end I would like to say jonsa doolah bane ga islami tareeqe se bane because that is the best way. I urge Shoaib bhai to please keep a beard as Sania bhabi might like the way it tickles.

Younis Khan : I am a man with the heart of a lion, I respect and love every inch of my countries soil and mitti and even its flowers. I will never ever be a dummy best man, I know Shaoib wants me to be but that is not my way, that is not the way of the khan, I will never attend this wedding as I have a very important Tasmanian function to attend in the rural regions of Australia. I however wish Shoaib and Sania the best of luck but I wish to remind them of the time they made me wait outside their room, that is another reason I am not attending they made me the lion wait for 2 hrs. If they insist though I will join the wedding and beat up anyone who even smiles at me.

Shahid Afridi : Me khel ke maidan me deta hun 100% aur Sania bhabi is also giving herself to Shaoib 100% well maybe 80% because she likes Shahid Kapoor a bit also but that is not an issue. My focus is on victory and on Pakistan winning and thus as this is a big event for my brother Shoaib I will attend and hand out not only free head and shoulders kits but bite the bridesmaids one by one. I am off course always there to help as I am Afridi, Boom Boom Afridi.

Muhammad Asif : I cannot comment as this blog is in English and I do not know that language pretty much magar I would like to assure Malik bhai that if he invites me to the wedding I will not fly though dubai this time but bring the merchandise through the samjhota express.

Javed Miandad : Meeeiiin… Meeein tu siraf ye bolta hun ke shadi madi karne ke kiaa zaroorat pari hay, meeray tu itne taluqat heeein india me agar shooaib ne meeereein ko bola hota tu meeein tu saniaaa ko bus uthwa leta..aur kiyaaa aik phone ki tu mar hey javed bhai ke liye.

Sarfaraz Nawaz : I protest on this wedding, this is actually BCCI’s agenda to take over Pakistan cricket they are jealous of the way I swung the ball and that was in that match against England and then i passed on the art to Imran Khan who passed it on to.. khair I can prove Sania is a man and Shoaib is a woman and they are marrying each other for nothing, I shall prove it very very soon or Nawaz is not my name.

Shoaib Akther : Wellll all I can say is that Sania is not a new bird in the nest and she will remember the Rawalpindi express on her wedding because I am so fast if they invite me I will be gone and come back to party like its saturday night without anyone even noticing I was there..haha Im so fast..haha.

Imran Khan : I am not interested in the affairs of cricket these days as I am on a mission, a mission to save this country from the destruction the brown sahabs are bringing to it. aap mujhe ye batayen ke ham kahan ja rahe hain? A pakistani cricketer is marrying an Indian tennis star? Why? Is this not why the Taliban are angry with us, I think we should cancel this wedding and a local jirga be called to determine who shoaib should marry, if it is a chieftains daughter it would be better as only through dialogue can we move forward. We must not allow the corrupt ruling tennis elite of India to fraternize and marry our downtrodden masses such as Malik. I am telling you he does not know any better, he does not have food or electricity. We must launch a revolutionary march for this purpose, we must save our masses from the sanias of this world.

Misbah : Pal bhar ke liye koiyeee hame pyaaar kar leee jhoota hi sahiii

_____________________________

All views and opinions expressed in the above piece are completely fictional and the work of this writers slightly deranged mind. He is indeed ecstatic at this union and just wishes to now see Kamran Akmal catching Katrina Kaif as he cannot catch anything else, well perhaps rabies would do also.

Filed Under: Cricket, Humor, Sports // Tagged: , , , ,

That’s just not cricket

Posted on March 14, 2010 //

ALSO PUBLISHED ON THE DAWN BLOG

Sub-continental cricket is of a different form than the game played internationally. The rules are the same, yes, but only in this part of the world is cricket treated as a way of life, rather than as a sport. Only here is a cricketer deemed so infallible that fans will believe anything as so long as their cricketing god is not offended or sullied.

Pakistani cricket fans have been victims of player power since the introduction of the game to these parts. Although the sport is a team game meant to be played by 11 men together, in Pakistan, those 11 men devolve into at least three coteries of players plotting against one another to gain the ultimate prize – captaincy – through which other more nefarious gains can then be achieved.

Certainly, Pakistan cricket has always had its problems, and with the revolving door the PCB entertains it is hard to find a period when stability has been achieved. In my opinion, the current rot started back at the Oval in August 2006 when Inzimam ul Haq took a needless stand against ball-tampering accusations and staged a walk-out. Many readers will fault me here and say that something had to be done at the time, but for a captain to give up on a winning position because his pride was injured speaks of selfishness rather than leadership.

After that we had the doping debacle, of which the less said the better. Then came the problem of musical chairs captaincy, as a result of which we have failed to make an impression in any form of the game, with the exception of Twenty20.

Today, many of us are wondering why, along with Muhammad Yousuf, Younis Khan has been indefinitely – but not permanently – banned, given that he did not even feature in the Australia tour. After all, was Younis Khan doing anything different when he was under Inzimam, or later under Shoaib Malik? Wasn’t he playing the same music that we are now blaming Malik and Yousuf for? Have we forgotten that he groomed to lead the Pakistan side after Inzi conveniently abandoned ship, refusing to be a “dummy captain”?

I agree that Younis is the better captain of the three, and that he has shown nobility of spirit since then. But again and again, we make excuses in defense of all of these gentlemen when they are at fault instead of accepting facts. This will no longer do. What happened in Australia is just the consequence of the rot that we as fans and followers of the game have allowed to set in over time.

Pakistani cricketers are always given the benefits that the game bestows, and are even worshiped like gods. Why, then, are they not expected to perform at the same standards of merit? Why shouldn’t they be rebuked when they bite at our hearts so callously in front of millions? Our team often complains that it does not receive as many financial perks as other international teams, but have they seen how those teams behave on and off the field?

I am not saying that Australian, English, or other players do not transgress. But when a player and match winner like Andrew Symonds was banned, Australian fans and the media did not tsk tsk and ask, what’s wrong with him downing a few drinks, anyway? Nor did Symonds blame his actions on Cricket Australia. And former Australian cricketers did not dare question the disciplinary action. They all realized that in order for Symonds to win back the baggy green Aussie cap, he had to earn it or stay at home.

The fact is, no one has the birthright to represent Pakistan, no matter how good or heroic they think they are. The position has to be earned – and then maintained.

Frankly, even though faulting the PCB’s management techniques has become a knee-jerk response, this time around I feel they are spot on. I just hope they will stand by these decisions and refrain from issuing a pardon or general amnesty. Such a decision could destroy our younger talent in the long run. After all, they already believe that doping is excusable, that swagger is better than honour, and that the ultimate prize is to be the captain of a Pakistan side that does not win.

We want players who will play cricket to win accolades for this country, not for themselves. If that means we have to lose our current crop of heroes and start anew, so be it.

Filed Under: Cricket, Published Articles // Tagged: , , , ,

Shame on Cricket & Pakistan

Posted on January 31, 2010 //

Cricket these days is not how it used to be. This is the understatement of the year as cricket is actually transformed ala 20 20 into something many of us cannot even understand anymore. Oh sure its hit and giggle and seemed fun in the start but the whole ambiance seems to be eroding the spirit of this sport to me.

Not that we Pakistani’s are doing anything to uplift the spirit of cricket either. Although I would like to strongly protest how a Pakistani player was tackled at the Wacca in the final ODI match between Aus and Pakistan by a spectator, I cannot begin to find words to explain what  our stand in captain Afridi did before the tackle. Thus I think it would be best to watch it..

This is perhaps the cover of a future video entitled” what not to do as captain of Pakistan” If not that, then perhaps it should be something shown to all our cricketers on a weekly basis to emulate how one of our greats humiliated us all in full view of thousands of cameras, by biting the ball. Yes Shahid Afridi bit the ball to tamper with it, not as some innocent commentator claims in the video to take the rough bits or the thread off, which is normally snipped off by the umpires. He has actually admitted and been banned for 2 twenty twenty matches for ball tampering.

Cricket Australia has sprung into action on the spectator who tackled our opener Khalid to the ground, they have contacted Khalid and asked him if he wants to press charges, if he does not want to, they are gong to proceed anyways. My question is, what is Cricket Pakistan going to do with a captain who says this in defence for his utterly disgraceful action…

“I shouldn’t have done it. It just happened. I was trying to help my bowlers and win a match, one match,” he told Geo TV, a Pakistan-based news channel. “There is no team in the world that doesn’t tamper with the ball. My methods were wrong. I am embarrassed, I shouldn’t have done it. I just wanted to win us a game but this was the wrong way to do it

If you ask me, we need to ban him and Muhammad Asif for life..too many times have we turned our eyes away from absolutely reprehensible behavior by our cricketing gods.

________________

Shahid Afridi quotes given above & reporting on this incident in detail available at Cricinfo

Filed Under: Cricket, News Views // Tagged: , , , ,
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