Playground for the middle aged

When Mark Zukerberg created Facebook with his pals in college, did he know that he was on the brink of something which would alter life to this extent around the world? Was he thinking of the possibilities this monster could have? Did he have any vision to how his so called coolest thing to do would go from a youth oriented interconnectivity paradise to a play ground of the middle aged, bored and charm less?

What? You heard me right. Facebook today is basically the tool of the balding and about to be socially sidelined to keep themselves feeling like they still matter and this was long before Google+ came along. Still think you are a social media expert because your status update is changed every 30 minutes? Well often the updated status is rather stolen from someone else who stole it from someone else to look better? Let me wake you up!

1. Youth has good memory

When you were young you remembered who your friends were. You didn’t need a social media tool like Facebook to find them and you certainly didn’t hungrily stare at a computer screen for days to find out if they would be your friends again, even after that lunacy you engaged in school with them. That was many, many years ago. Point to notice, the primary activity of “befriending” has been replaced by “finding old friends” Meaning you still haven’t moved on!

2. From hip to wanna be hip

This basically means all of us uncles and aunties who are spending most of their productive time ogling at younger, better looking people on Facebook. Well, sorry to disappoint you but the better looking lot are shrinking each day, replaced by people putting up pictures of activities they never got to do in high school because they were not cool enough. You can find them in the millions, the inebriated middle aged exhibitionists that populate face book now and are the chief source of its soon to come destruction.

3. Exclusive has become elusive

There was a time when you had to be invited by someone to join Facebook. That was the time this platform was exclusive, when belonging to it actually meant something. As of today there are 250 million people on Facebook. 250 million people who want to connect; did we not go virtual because we wanted to escape?? Well now there is no escape because all of us are virtual or getting there. The herd mentality strikes again!

4. Inbox replacing email?

Why do you think a private messaging service on a social network is trying to replace email as a means of communication? Is it the way forward or because most of the users of Facebook now fall in the 26-34 age bracket rather than the 18-25 age bracket? After guzzling so many diet coke cans in a middle aged life you really cannot remember that many email addresses can you? You cannot even remember names that well anymore? Hmm! So when you type in ‘Ani’ in your inbox and Facebook shows you three dozen Anitas, Anilas and Annies to help your ageing brain grasp its target, comprendo?

It’s a bitter pill to swallow but most parents know that the surest way to stop your kid from doing something is to join them in it. That is what has happened to Facebook and as the age of the average user gets higher and higher with each passing day, the services this platform offers are being tailor-made to that bracket as well. Honestly put, soon Facebook will be a world only populated by lusting uncles and match making aunties and that’s the kind of harassment people do not go to their friends valimas for, forget online.

Orignally published in Features – Dawn