Bol ke coalition toot rahi hay pyaare!

Like the predictability of stupid Mobilink ads, where thousands of gaily colored and dressed up men and women dance in tune to their happiness at having the ultimate cellular connection. Our mandate given dummies are dancing to the tune of god knows who and in different exotic locales from Dubai to London to no avail.

Seriously…shhhh its 12th May already but do not tell the lawyers or the streets will be full of people clamoring for democracy. Wait…*runs to window* oh thats just the neighborhood cat dammit..where are the black coats. Hmm perhaps they are just as confused as the rest of our poor junta is?

Let me clarify, the latest news is that all talks have failed between the mucho macho coalition of Nawaz Sharif and Asif Zardari in London. Yeh i know, you dear reader, like an idiot are wondering exactly why are so many men and a few women flying to far away places to decide on a constitutional issue regarding Pakistan’s government. However this is all done to painstakingly somehow by whatever methods exercised keep the ball of democracy rolling. Please pay attention as our leaders have now explained that all efforts will be made to support the current government which cannot decide on the reinstatement of 7 people (the judges dummy) to their past posts in the last month and a half. Basically what they are trying to say is that they have tried in Karachi, Dubai, London and Lahore but cannot come to a solution to this mess but will still continue to support each other.

Makes about as much sense as paying a dollar a liter for petrol in a country where the average mans income is around 90 dollars a month. Obviously our leaders left no stone unturned and kept trying till the last moment of every meeting (in between breaks for Nawaz’s lassi drinking binges off course) to come to an amicable solution to our countries many diverse and horrifying problems. All concerned with the reinstatement of these justices. As soon as Iftikhar sits his self down in “that” chair he will produce some kind of magic wand to wave away our plight. But nooooo this reinstatement is too unsolvable. It is so difficult that foreign aid has even descended upon London in the form of various people from the white halls to help the sides out.

I know people often want to know why i am always so pissed, well all you have to do is switch on the telly every night and watch some of the million and a half talk shows on air in our Pakistani media, so adept are they at clarifying the murky waters in our politics. I mean how can a person not grasp the real cusp of our problems when our leaders give sound bites like the following

“Ab jooton me dal bataey gi”

“Kal ke hero aj ke zero”

“I shall resign, i shall reconsider, i shall give you a last chance, i cannot resign because others will also do so”

Trust me, there is really no point in discussion here or holding meetings and giving deadlines. When the men in power are just trying to increase their personal stays in power for the foreseeable future, there remains little hope for the kingdom they rule.

If this was Rome Ceaser would have puked on the senate floor!! Nothing to do but wait now, as i do think i hear the sound of a generals laughter.

Crisesistan Paindabad!!!