Enter The Groper

With the famous words “We call upon Makhdoom” the PPP put Yousuf Raza Gillani as its prime candidate for the post of premiership of this land of the pure.

He was further described in many interviews that followed and on talk shows which will be tearing him apart very soon, I would think in about 15 days of his swearing in as a man of principal etc etc. Some on this forum have also nominated him as an unswerving bulwark against political pressures and such.

His family has been at the forefront of politics in southern Punjab for at least all its recorded history. Showing once again that the “Party of the people” has opted for a family hierarchy then a united choice of the populace. They have installed him as our prime minister in the same fashion they gave the chairperson ship of the oldest and largest political party of our country to a teenager, based on his blood ties alone.

Exactly what are the qualities the prime minister of Pakistan must have?

a) He must be politically well known and influential in the various power spheres to keep the office running, as there is nothing else which can keep a Prime minister of this land up other than nepotism and skull duggery CHECK

b) He must be a yes man to the powers to be, these can be of various forms. It can be a President or a Don or a certain monetary institution controlling his strings, but he must have strings! CHECK

c) He has to display a marked similarity to the most common mentality of his people, as aptly pointed out by a contributor here public groping is en rage these days and you tube shows us the soon to be PM is awesome at that sport CHECK

d) He must always, always have an exit strategy, which Mr Gillai has aptly pointed to in his reference to his party deciding whether this is a permanent or temporary position. CHECK

Suffice to say, we have gone from a financial savvy would be groper, just ask Condi Rice to a political savvy one.

I think the celebrities of our land are in rapture; perhaps some old musical nightingales might get a few ministries even. Due to their.. ahem undying pursuits in the betterment of the nations PM’s lifestyle!

Ahhh, sorryI must end this rant as the electricity has just gone into asylum again, excuse me as I grope for a candle. UPS going low SUBMIT…SUBMIT!!

(for those that want proof, all the bloody time)

First published on TPS