Of Oaf’s & Offal’s

Pakistanis as a race tend to be amongst the greatest of discarder’s present in today’s’ world. We often cut loose our hero’s from their umbrical cords without as much as a sliver of thought. Be it cricket or politics or business, we tend to forget, as if there is nothing such as the past.


At no moment is this sentiment on better display then the second day of “Bakra/Goat Eid” where the piled up offal’s of yesterday’s slaughter are gathered from front porches by the ever vigilant K.M.C and carted away for immediate burial. We are a nation which does ritual sacrifice by the millions, nay billions these days ( in tribute to the rising prices of goats and cows) and still many of us go without 3 proper meals a day.


This Eid was no different as I was informed by the various, media channels on goats and cows being bought in lakhs of rupees by would be benefactors solely for the purpose of executing their beauty. In fact around these parts there are people that spent millions of dollars on their ritual offerings every Eid, and chose to display them in huge tents outside their houses for one and all to see. Pretty funny is it not? I guess we still miss the days of grandeur of the Mughal courts and do our best to exemplify them at every corner. Perhaps an Akbar lives in each one of us?


Speaking of offal’s… January 8th is just around the corner. The political campaigns are off to full swing in most parts of the country. By political campaigns here we usually mean rallies by past oafs where the attendants are paid by either food or cash to attend. Usually before elections the big feudal’s organize and show of their largess by open “Langars/Free For Alls” at their Deras/Residences for the masses to come eat and get lost in merry making, all for the price of a single vote.


Disappointed by our electoral process? do not be! What did you expect? Intelligent people debating on whom to make their leaders by proper electoral process? Puhleeeze lets not forget we are living in the land of the pure. Not that we can say a lot for other claimants of democracy in this region, FYI Modi just won from Gujrat, across the border where he helped engineer one of the biggest day time slaughters of the bearded ones. So much for the true voice of the people eh?


I for one have decided to stay out of this whole mess by spending election day at home, relaxing in the fake glory of all is well as long as I do not hear of it. Yes I am going to play the ostrich rather than take part in the “Great Election” or as the great bald hope puts it “Our referendum”. I just wonder who will be there to pick up the residue of this nation once these elections are said and done with? Will they allow Aitizaz to caste his vote? Only to drag him back to confinement from the ballot box I think! Will there be a clear outcome? Oh definitely!! An outcome of more confusion!  So here’s my salute to the New Year. My resolution I think shall be to forget about it quicker than the last one.