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Enter the future

Posted on January 18, 2011 //

Things are changing very very rapidly in this world of ours. This week we all came to know that astrology is all wrong and that they  (astrologers) forgot to include some weird quadrant in subspace in their calculations and thus there is now a 13th astrological sign (ophiidunnowhathefuk) and somehow I am now a saggitarius after being born on january 1st and being a Capricorn for 36 years! What malarkey I say!! However its always good to be mentally prepared for any new shock life may throw at you  and that includes the imminent take over by the big bad and hairies here in Pakistan. Come on you seriously think we can win the war on terror? They’ve got stomachs full of biryani guys what do we have? Liberal dal chawal and the commie flag? ptooooie I say we get ready and for that we need a short and quick glossary of what everyday terms will mean under them folk so here goes.

Pre Hairy

Cricket : A sport enjoyed by millions here in Pakistan, rife with scandal and glamor, 11 men a ball white clothes a stadium you get the picture?

Post Hairy

Chopit : Sport still enjoyed by millions, rife with more and more people wanting a go, a blasphemer caught in a stadium, 11 men still with white clothes though turbaned no balls just swords…

Pre Hairy

Mixed mehfil ; A gathering of people, a dawat, food, men and women wearing brightly colored clothes sparkling lights, laughter of family and friends far in the night.

Post Hairy

Mixed Mehfil : A gathering of men, shaved and unshaved, wearing dull clothes, discussions of shariah and roasted bakras, laughter of the maniacal kind.

Pre Hairy

Talkshows on Tv : Analysts of all kinds and flavors, decorum and measure dictated by who has the loudest voice, discussion on everything.

Post Hairy

Talk shows on Tv : Analysts all looking the same, flavor always measured and strict, decorum and measure dictated by who has the longest beard or who is currently wearing a bomb, fatwas on everything.

Pre Hairy

Films : All manner of movies on screens across town, cineplex on seaview featuring the latest Indian and english fare in small box like theatres, the atrium catering to the 3d crowd, over priced popcorn, still great fun.

Post Hairy

Films : Docudramas on the great conspiracy against us Muslims, videos from the battle fields of iraq and Afghanistan. Cineplex playing messages from holy suicide bombers about to go kaboom, the atrium burnt to the ground as 3d is haraam

Pre Hairy

Police check point/talashi : Stop, greet check trunk, check under seats, ask for registration, grease a palm, go.

Post Hairy

Police check point/talashi : Stop hear azan given in ear, check trunk, check glove compartment, if holy book found smile to one another if any kind of music found lose a finger if dvd found lose your penis.

Pre Hairy

Eid ul Adha: Going to the market getting a variety of goats, sheep, camels, yaks and other exotic four legged species to sacrifice, hiring a butcher doing the necessary on eid day.

Post Hairy

Eid ul Adha : Going out on the roads trying to get someone from a minority for sacrifice, if found, announcing their time of judgement over loudspeakers to gather a crowd, if not found then going to the market and buying an idolater grudgingly, getting out favorite sword, doing the necessary on eid day, wearing the bloodied clothes for days, posting videos on youtube.

At this point I feel i should pause, as further depth on this subject could lead to the idea that all the above is not a piece of fiction and satire because it is…oh my dear sir it is….please waves white and green flag!! Pleaseeeeee not my writing hand!!!

Bakra Eid

Filed Under: Humor, Karachi // Tagged: , ,

A garden in shigar

Posted on January 12, 2011 //

 

A Garden in Shigar from Mahera Omar on Vimeo.

(2010) Nusrat, Khezran, Zakia, Asiya and Sajida are five young women from the scenic Shigar Valley in the mountainous northern areas of Pakistan. As interns with the Aga Khan Cultural Service Pakistan (AKCSP), their project is to landscape the Abruzzi secondary school’s garden in the village of Sainkhor, Shigar, Baltistan. Tahereh, their guide and mentor, has come all the way from Los Angeles, California, to teach the women the principles of design and landscaping. In learning these skills to transform a rubble strewn field into a one-of-a-kind teaching garden, these women sow the seeds for their own transformation.

If you like this film and want to vote for it for a viewers choice award, please vote for it at Womens’ voices the prize money would be put towards the completion of the teaching garden this planting season.

Filed Under: Making a difference // Tagged: , , , , ,

Time to decide

Posted on January 5, 2011 //

This week has been something out of a nightmare. Nations all over the world celebrate new years with a gusto, with an eye towards the horizon and the wind in their sails. We here In Pakistan start 2011 with a government so paralyzed in politics it cannot see beyond its own doorstep & a nation teetering at the brink of self annihilation but still in complete denial.

Consider this, the governor of Punjab, Salman Taseer  is executed by his own security guard (Mumtaz Qadri) who pumps 27 bullets into him and faces the cameras with a smile when handing himself over to the law because he was offended by the fact that Salman Taseer spoke out against the blasphemy law. This happened in broad day light and results in our whole society separating as neatly as a line had been drawn in the sand.

To the right are people celebrating in the streets like the manager of my bank who handed out sweets today and ulemas ( religious scholars) about 500 in number who claim 40 days of religious celebration as well as support the assailant in what he did. Add to this the people who showered the assailant with rose petals in court today and those who are silently nodding as they justify this act in quiet whispers.

To the left are the misfits of Pakistani society, the bleeding heart liberals who are all in an uproar over this terrible tragedy, some of whom think its quite alright for anyone to say what they want as long as everyone is having a good time and the air of moderation remains. They’re campaigning on face book, they are screaming on my time line on twitter, very conscious of their growing follower count as they accuse the mainstream media of jingoism for the sake of a few TRP’s.

In the middle are people  like me who do not have a clue as to what they are doing here these days. Who are going about their daily rat like existence because that’s all that is left for them to live for! The wretched routine and at the end of it switching off the tv because they cannot take it anymore. To bury their face in the pillow and pray to god to make it stop, to make this country whole again, to stop the bloodshed, to forgive those who have strayed, to find some modicum of peace and tranquility from the constant scream of negativity that can be heard from the heart of the nation they love.

This is how we stand, divided & full of accusation and hate for one another, but none of this matters because in the end whatever happens we will all come to realize maybe too late that this nation is all we had to call our own. This land is all we had to love and live for and we destroyed it with our own bare hands. The hands of children whose forefathers bled for this place, who came here on buses and trains half slaughtered with a dream in their minds.

We are the generation which is killing the dream that was Pakistan and until we decide to save it no one else will do it for us. Until we decide to treat our fellow Pakistani’s as humans and not poor wretches to be exploited, until we come to the conclusion that whatever our belief’s and aims may be they are second to the existence of this country, until we become one.

One or none……what will it be?

____________________

Pic courtesy this article on BBC

Filed Under: Current Affairs // Tagged: , , , , , , ,

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