Fifa world cup, simplified

The Fifa World Cup is underway and like many other nations, Pakistanis are enthusiastically watching matches, cheering for their favourite teams and organising football get togethers (GTs in urban elite lingo). Although we have come some way in embracing this sport from mere viewers to actual participants, both at home via domestic tourneys (Pakistan Premiere League), local city leagues to regional international matches like the SAFF Cup (South Asian Football Federation), we still have a long way to go before we can qualify for the main event. Currently, we rank at thirty-fifth among the teams in South Asia. Even so, the spirit and passion for this sport is growing and why wouldn’t it? Football is a poor man’s game and requires not much other than a football which we are adept at producing in the millions in Sialkot.

There seems to be a dearth of understanding as to what the world cup teams and their characteristics are about in Pakistan and so, I thought it would be pertinent to introduce them in reference to our cricketing gods so we know what the commentators on TV are always screaming about.

1. Brazil
They are the Wasim Akram of the football world. This team has done it all and achieved it all. They have unmatched skill with the ball, they can dance well both, on and off the field and have fans all over the world, but they yet have to grace Indian reality shows.
They are the favourites each time they play and have a tendency to not being able to defend a lot of unexpected movement in the air, focusing only on attack.

2. England
Most similar to Shahid Afridi – they performed brilliantly in one world cup and were the champions back in 1966. Even though they have rabid fan base, acute media hype and coverage up the wazoo, they are unable to achieve much on the international stage. The team has also appeared in a number of endorsements in print and electronic media, much like Afridi.

3. North Korea
Like Shoaib Akhtar, the team is egotistical and is controlled by god knows whom. They are most secretive in holding closed practices and claim to have the ability to conjure miraculous feats while in actuality, achieving nothing. Not yet established in Bollywood but hoping to break into form at any given time for the last 10 years.

4. Spain
Closet Misbah Ul Haq behaviour – loaded with talent and skill having displayed it all throughout the league stages of any tournament but fail at the grandest stage. And yes Misbah, we still remember that paddle-scoop of disaster against India and we will make sure you do as well.

5. Argentina
Muhammad Asif personified. Oodle’s of skill, an almost mesmerising ability to entertain when on song but most of the time, trip or fall on obstacles conjured in their own minds. Drug issues, check. Ego, check. Ability to be gods or walk off a cliff, check!

6. Italy
Can be compared to Younis Khan. A history of success, great presence on the roster but very divisive to its fans, you either love Italy or hate them, there is nothing in between. Also, like Khan, the team displays the same mood swings, temper and flair both on and off the field.

7. USA
Umar Gul-like skill, but for them to be noticed on the world stage is the same – negligible. They try very hard, can cause plenty of upsets but whether they do or don’t, no one seems to give a damn.

8. Germany
Exactly like Imran Khan – strong team values, they attack as a unit, making a science out of the beautiful game, very strong mental attitude and dedication, almost clinical at times.  Their only flaw is too much confidence which has lead to their own downfall. that and the Germans suck at politics too, think hitler…merkel…err

The jury is still out on Miandad, so if anyone thinks he explains a team do let me know :p as I am still having trouble understanding him..

As published in “The Dawn Blog” 17/6/2010

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18 comments
Bettyann
Bettyann

I wonder if Paul the Octopus could accurately determine when BP will plug the leak - No one else seems able

Chara Wisnoski
Chara Wisnoski

the next match between Argentina and Germany will be.. Tough call.. Let's see how will they play it out..

Tommie Vink
Tommie Vink

Interesting reading , I also found another related article in other blog about world cup news - World cup 2010 frustrated ashley cole left isolated by steven gerrard

Hornby Train Sets
Hornby Train Sets

Anyone happen to see Arlen Robben in the game with Netherlands against. Slovakia? Amazing!

Gisele Hugley
Gisele Hugley

Argentina is annihilating their adversaries in the world cup. Argentina is plausibly going to win it all, I pity whoever they're playing next!

Marion Mayeux
Marion Mayeux

Very great article you wrote here. As a blogger to another, I recognise how hard and how much time it takes to write up something great. Respect.

Football World Cup
Football World Cup

I can't believe what happened with Portugal today. That was totally neat!

Jamison Patience
Jamison Patience

Me & my fellow classmates use your blogs as our reference materials. We look out for more interesting articles from your end about the this kind of topic . Even the future updates about this topic would be of great help.

POK
POK

Ghana what a crazy game!

Anja Freiberger
Anja Freiberger

I love the world cup SOO much....the only thing i hate about it is the fact that it doesent go FOREVER...LOL......i just hope there is no serious injuries to my Favourite Players

Bryon Hartl
Bryon Hartl

You know this is a extremely good post i havent thought about this for quite a while and you have like sparked me to look into it further and re educate my self in the subject....thanks,hope to see more of your posts soon

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remortgage offers

i found this in a google search. i really like your blog. hard to find something both informative and easy to read.

Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton

This is an epic site, I'll definitely be sure to add your blog to my bookmarks.

Milton Morningstar
Milton Morningstar

I hope that people dont just choose to give this article a quick scan...i highly encourage you readers to look at it thouroghly it is very useful and you will not find a better write up anywhere

Club Penguin
Club Penguin

hey, I added ur site to my RSS reader. the posts are awesome! :)

Gondal Jutt
Gondal Jutt

very nice post Mr FK... & i think Miandad looks alike Bafana Bafana :D ... The only reason they are in Fifa10 is because they are hosting country & same is the case with Miandad he's in PCB becoz if he's not than you better be ready for Match Fixing allegations :p

Tazeen
Tazeen

Genuinely funny Faisal, you know I enjoyed it the first time I read it.